I’m not going to deny it, as of recently, I have been really terrible with keeping a schedule to write. Whether it’s in my journal or creatively, I just can’t do it. Well, ok, I can, but you know. I’ve found it very difficult. And as I admit this, I realize that I’m the worst and just need to do it. I’ve recently submitted a short story to a magazine story contest and, while I’m not expecting anything, it does feel nice just to have something prepared to do such a thing. I have been trying to keep up with new postings for contests and literary journals, but I feel like I should be doing much more to get my writing out there to more people and a faster rate. I know most of you post pieces of work on your blogs and I wasn’t sure if I should be doing this as well. (I have a weird thing against posting my stuff online for all to see, maybe it’s just nerves.)
So this is a serious question that I serious opinions about. Should I start regularly posting works? Do you find this helps with your acknowledgement but also your writing process as a whole? Are there any other outlets that I should be looking into to get my writing out there to the public in hopes that I can make it a regularly viewed thing? SOS pls.
A few weeks ago, I packed up my bags and then my car and I drove halfway across the country back home. It was a weird decision to make and the easiest way I can explain it is that my life in Texas was weird for me and, as it turns out, I am not as quick to adapt as I believed. I was all set to write a post describing how strong I am as an individual and how life is easy for me, but, it also turns out, that I can’t find it in me to tell you all that. For a few days I couldn’t find any other reason for it all except that I was an idiot–that I wasn’t a big enough person to deal with it. I thought I was weak. I thought it was my fault that things didn’t work out the way I had hoped. And then for a few more days, I was faced with seeing my old roommate reference quotes about being defeated and discouraged and how stronger people are able to push through those times–those feeling discouraged give up. They leave. And while I can’t explain my entire thought process, let me make one thing clear:
I am not discouraged. I am not defeated. I did not give up. I made a mistake. I changed my mind.
I left. And I left for me–not for anyone else. I left to create a space for myself to be myself; to be with myself. I left to regroup. To understand what’s important to me. What’s important to my future. To form a closer bond with what’s important to me. I left to meet new people. To be inspired by new people. To influence new people. To form new relationships with old friends. I left for money. For stability. For familiarity. For comfort. I left to expand my horizons. To understand all that’s in front of me. To understand all that I left behind me. I left to create a space for myself to write. To explore all the worlds I have been dreaming of. To get myself together to move onto my next endeavor. To get myself back to feeling together. I left for me.