Holes was one of those books that I was supposed to read in seventh grade. (Wait, quick side story: I was trying to figure out when I had actually been assigned the book and went on a complete search for every teacher I ever had in middle school because I couldn’t figure out who my eighth grade English teacher was. So I found a rate my professor for, like, middle school(?) and was going through the list to find anyone that sounded familiar. I ended up not finding my English teacher so thankfully one of my close friends remembered who it was, but I did come across my eighth grade science teacher who was very attractive and remains very attractive so I tried to find him on linkedin and it just didn’t work out so I’m kinda bummed tbh.) Ok, so anyway, Holes was one of those books that I was supposed to read in seventh grade. And I know you’re probably all wondering why I said “supposed to” instead of just “I read that book” and it’s because I had been assigned the book and I didn’t read it. I’m not a bad student. I’m actually a really good student. And I liked homework. So it was nothing like “rebellious Sarah didn’t do the homework again.” It was more like “my teacher was a drunk so I didn’t do the assignment because it wouldn’t have mattered anyway.”
Yes, that’s what I said. I’ll tell you the story of cranky ole Ms. Booze (obviously not her name but I won’t say the real one on here in case she finds this and seeks revenge). Anyway, Ms. Booze was a weird lady in that she was always drunk. Or, at least, for most of the year, we just assumed she was drunk. We basically did nothing and she believed we did everything and I’m sure we all got A’s that year. (See so this is why I didn’t read because she had no idea what was going on so I didn’t want to put effort into something that she wouldn’t have cared about, ok.) So we all just slacked off assuming our teacher was a drunk and then one day it turned out that she was actually a drunk and we were all super geniuses. (Well not all of us, Ramsay took a peek in her desk when she went to the copy room and found bottles and maybe told someone?) Ok but what happened next is a real crazy time. I had stayed home one day from school because my mom said it was cool so I went to the mall with her instead. And when we got to the school to pick up my sister we heard sirens and there were police cars everywhere. When I got back home, I had a thousand IMs (yes, back when AIM was a thing) from my friends telling me to turn on the news. So, naturally, I did. Turns out Ms Booze was getting arrested because of her intoxication, but before they caught her she had jumped into the car of a parent (who’s daughter I was friends with so that was super awkward for her) and told this parent she was having a heart attack. So the parent began to drive to the hospital because this teacher is having a heart attack, you know. Anyway, the woman driving ended up hitting a cop with her car and they were both arrested.
And that’s why I didn’t read Holes in the seventh grade.
But now that I’ve read it, I don’t have much to say because I watch the movie a lot so I see how it’s different but basically I just imagined Shia LaBeouf digging holes the whole time and it was just really distracting.